Hiya Fellas

I think my internal clock is screwed up...can't seem to get tired before 2 am. If I continue this habit, next semester is going to suck big ones. Next semester...another one. Cripes, I've been in college for four years and still have another 2 to go. Bad decisions kids, bad decisions. Who wanted to be a nurse practitioner for the neonatal intensive care unit? This guy (I mean gal). Premature babies. I felt my calling was to help people. Why not? I'm a caring individual. Let's go to college with this goal in mind! 3 semesters in, I changed my mind. Was it the endless hours I spent in lab discovering the innards of baby pigs? Nah. Perhaps it was the hours pouring over text books trying to memorize every organ and every process your body carries out? Nope. It was the simple fact that my desire to create art, whether it is written or performance art, is a stronger driving force in my life. Does that mean I don't give a flying eff about premature babies? No, it just means that I felt I could be a mediocre nurse practitioner. But art, now that's something I could be great at. I'm dying to make my mark on the world, and it would be a god-awful shame to let my talents go to waste. There are plenty of nurses lining up in the classrooms. There are fewer people out there that are brave enough to pursue their passion to create something unique and irreplaceable. Damn, it's 1:30...wearing down. Maybe I'll read a book. I think too much sometimes, and wear myself out. A book is a great escape. What did Melanie say? "I wish I could find a good book to live in..."

Word Spillage

Ah, Yann Tiersen is my muse.

Words that cannot be said rest the heaviest.

“The man who listens to Reason is lost: Reason enslaves all whose minds are not strong enough to master her” - George Bernard Shaw

The one who bites his tongue
will always have the bitter taste of blood.
Hold your breath til it's over and done,
but nothing holds back the imminent flood.
When the rain starts to fall in blinding gales,
Grasp to your reason and your fear will have won,
but free your mind of all restrictions and you will again see the sun.

Blah blah blah. There's my two cents.

Hey, why is everyone so damn uptight nowadays?
Must be all of the fluoride in the water.
Healthy teeth my ass.
Mind control is more like it.

Oh yeah, listen to Yann Tiersen and try not to be moved. Try and fail, dammit.
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/177632785
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/79271185

But, if you want to make babies, this is what you should listen to:
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/129159185

And, if you want to mentally disturb someone to the point of no return where they think you use human skin (not your own) as an accessory, it's best if you put some colored scarves over the lamps (mood lighting, duh), and creepily watch yourself dance to this:
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/779739665

Burlesque

So, I've joined the Cherry Bomb Burlesque troupe here in town.

Little ol' Manda joined a troupe where she'll have to parade around onstage in a thong and pasties (if I gather up the courage to get that nude.)

Little ol' Manda who is known for being the quiet, sweet girl is going to blow minds come October 9.

Am I comfortable with my body? Hell no I'm not. I've got cellulite and stretch marks out the wazoo, but I'm still going to flaunt 'em. Why? What possessed you to join such a troupe? Because, I am sexy. Whether you realize it or not, I have a desire to be seen as sexy. I am married, yes. My husband fulfills my needs, yes. But, I have a personal need that some might not understand. It is to be desired for the woman I am without facades. I can't hide anything onstage under the lights, and that excites me. In person, you see what I want you to see. If I don't like it, I won't show it to you. But here, I can't hide shit. And that is what excites me like nothing else.

Come October 9th, you will see an uninhibited woman who leaks confidence in what she can do. I will embrace my female form and I will make you remember me after the lights have gone out.

Figurin...

I'm trying to "follow" people on here...the Internet is a lot smarter than I am. It's a little game we play...Internet comes up with something "user friendly" and I end up being the only user who just can't get friendly (if you know what I mean). Now, I know how to write; I'm a freaking connoisseur of words. I can direct like a fiend. I read James Joyce for fun...but to follow someone on here...just can't do it.

I am Woman

I'm not stupid in spite of my age.
Whatever your misconceptions are of women, I do not claim any of them.
Do not use me to better your confidence.
Because you tear me down in the process.
If I had a chance to re-do it all,
I wouldn't, except for my intensity.


I love:
frozen twinkies
that sideways look that guys often give
blank pages
lubrication
high heels
literature
discovering new words
opening a new pack of gum
cracking the spine on a new book
dog-eared pages
freshly shaved legs
after shower lotion
Irish accents
men's forearms
flirtation
second chances
down comforters
piano music
humor
sideways smiles
physical contact